Once upon a time, there was a little studmuffin named Rock. He rode tall on his white stallion that looked like a tiny, ugly Brontosaurus. He named him Jefro.
Rock and Jefro came riding up on this magical bridge that was guarded by a badelynge of duck trolls. The brace of ducks refused to let Rock and Jefro pass unless Rock could summon the Dark Duck and answer one important question.
"Quack quack quackity quack quack?" asked the Dark Duck.
"Quack-tastic" answered Rock, and a mystical portal opened and they could happily cross the bridge.
But all was not well with Jefro. In frustration and anger, the Dark Duck transformed Jefro into Smilgy, the Legendary Giant White Pig of Honor. Rock tried to recruit people to help Smilgy before he became the legendary Giant White Meat That's Not Chicken. Kennedy would have none of it, fearing that Rock and Reilly were worshiping Smilgy. She made her best seminary video pose of disapproval and shame.
Don't worry Smilgy, I'll save you before you become delicious breakfast sausage...
...mmmm.....sausage....wait here Smilgy, I need to go find some giant biscuits.
Now working on foot, Rock arrived at the cage of death. He was wondering why it was called the cage of death, since it seemed pretty docile.
Then, suddenly without warning (since it wouldn't be sudden if there was warning, now would it?) he realized that it smelled like food crawled into an animal's mouth, died and was kicked out the other end.
The trek continued, and Rock met many new friends. He seemed to like the goats, they made alot of noise and ate anything that you threw in there.
That made Rock miss his uncles.
Uncle? Is that you? Nick? KC? D-Bone? Derek?
He knew immediately that the next group he met weren't going to remind him of any family members on Daddy's side.
"Hey! Point that somewhere else!"
At last Rock was able to enter the bird caves. Here he could seek the wisdom of the little feathered creatures and ask them his important question.
They didn't know the answer, so he stormed off in a huff!! He was MAD!! Stupid little rats with wings.
His final quest was to teach the lion cub how to stalk and pounce the dangerous graham cracker. "You crouch down like this and hide yourself in the grass. See how I'm invisible? That's what you need to do."
"Then you tiptoe over to the delicious graham cracker...mmm...graham cracker."
Finally Rock's Epic journey was complete, and he was able to blow kisses to the Special Tree of Treeness.
"Aw...totally not worth it"
"What you lookin' at Rhino? Wanna fight? Bring it!!"
Rock and Jefro came riding up on this magical bridge that was guarded by a badelynge of duck trolls. The brace of ducks refused to let Rock and Jefro pass unless Rock could summon the Dark Duck and answer one important question.
"Quack quack quackity quack quack?" asked the Dark Duck.
"Quack-tastic" answered Rock, and a mystical portal opened and they could happily cross the bridge.
But all was not well with Jefro. In frustration and anger, the Dark Duck transformed Jefro into Smilgy, the Legendary Giant White Pig of Honor. Rock tried to recruit people to help Smilgy before he became the legendary Giant White Meat That's Not Chicken. Kennedy would have none of it, fearing that Rock and Reilly were worshiping Smilgy. She made her best seminary video pose of disapproval and shame.
Don't worry Smilgy, I'll save you before you become delicious breakfast sausage...
...mmmm.....sausage....wait here Smilgy, I need to go find some giant biscuits.
Now working on foot, Rock arrived at the cage of death. He was wondering why it was called the cage of death, since it seemed pretty docile. 
Then, suddenly without warning (since it wouldn't be sudden if there was warning, now would it?) he realized that it smelled like food crawled into an animal's mouth, died and was kicked out the other end.
The trek continued, and Rock met many new friends. He seemed to like the goats, they made alot of noise and ate anything that you threw in there.
That made Rock miss his uncles.
Uncle? Is that you? Nick? KC? D-Bone? Derek?
He knew immediately that the next group he met weren't going to remind him of any family members on Daddy's side.
"Hey! Point that somewhere else!"
At last Rock was able to enter the bird caves. Here he could seek the wisdom of the little feathered creatures and ask them his important question.
They didn't know the answer, so he stormed off in a huff!! He was MAD!! Stupid little rats with wings.
His final quest was to teach the lion cub how to stalk and pounce the dangerous graham cracker. "You crouch down like this and hide yourself in the grass. See how I'm invisible? That's what you need to do."
"Then you tiptoe over to the delicious graham cracker...mmm...graham cracker."
Finally Rock's Epic journey was complete, and he was able to blow kisses to the Special Tree of Treeness.
"Aw...totally not worth it"
"What you lookin' at Rhino? Wanna fight? Bring it!!"
Aaron you are a great writer. Rock is going to love reading about all his adventures when he gets older...Or does he already read? Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sherry. And yes, Rock already reads at a 2 year-old level!
ReplyDelete